I have found my Idol………and I usually don’t idolize anyone, celebrities especially.

Its Shonda Rhimes, the creator of Grey’s Anatomy. One of the reasons she created the show was because she wanted to create a world in which you felt as if you were watching very real women. Most of the women she saw on TV didn’t seem like people she actually knew. They never got to be nasty or competitive or hungry or angry. Damn, ain’t that the truth. I just read the interview in O Magazine where Shonda describes her ideal man, and I must concur.

He would be a combination of McDreamy and Dr. Burke, a mix of intelligence, patience and vulnerability. He would have his own interests, his “own thing” and I would not have to be “that thing.”

He would live next door. He’d come over for dinner and hang out. We would have this great life, and then he’d go back home. All the fanfare and non-stop attention gets a bit old and a bit exhausting. If he’s not there all the time, every day………I’d appreciate him more.

Now, that’s what I’m talmbout!!

Not only is she smart, she is a talented writer and a beautiful, voluptuous Black woman………not unlike meself. hehehehehe

Women of the world, I am speaking to you………

When using public restrooms – not only should you protect your ass by utilizing one of those “seat covers” or strategically placed toilet paper or paper towel, but please FLUSH the damn toilet when you are done!!

One thing that disgusts me royally, other than ass markings on the toilet seat, is seeing something you have left floating in the water.

Today, I made my way down to the restroom in the courthouse, and scoped out the area before being seated on the throne. I grabbed paper toweling from the dispenser and as I entered the stall to begin my strategic placement of toweling, I notice the toilet is full of RED drippings………gotdamn if I didn’t almost throw up.

Bad enough to see a little brown floatie, but I can assure you that seeing red made me do exactly that – I was seeing red and seething mad as bolted from the room.

I used to have the demeaning and daunting task of cleaning the restrooms at my second job (until I begged long enough for them to hire someone else to do it) and I knew that the men’s restroom was a place that should never ever be entered by a woman, but what I have witnessed today leads me to believe that women have lowered their regard for themselves in public restrooms.

For Shame!!

I absolutely cannot believe that I was on the phone last evening arguing with a man about his teeth……….um, excuse me, lack thereof.

I mentioned in a previous post how I was accused of being shallow because I have standards in place when meeting a person and how I refuse to put myself through getting to know a person and become comfortable with him, via email or telephone, without first seeing a picture (and now, they must have at least one picture with a huge smile). This decision was contrived only after countless hours of doing just that. I became sick and tired of having a good connection with a person (because so many men feel that you should “get to know them” and not be “all about the looks”) only to meet them and be TOTALLY not attracted to them for one reason or another, and one major reason would be the lack of a full set of teeth. Now, I ain’t trippin on whether or not he has had a tooth pulled for some reason or another and if that tooth happens to be positioned way in the back of the mouth as to not detract from the beauty of his smile, but I’ll be damned if I subject myself to sitting across the table from a man whose whole front row is G.O.N.E. hell.to.tha.naw I ain’t gonna do it.

In December, I decided to meet a man whom I had been talking to for about 3 months, both on the phone and via email. We had a great connection. I had only seen one picture of him and that picture was a far off view of him standing sideways and it was kinda unclear. He is older than me, and I thought not the ugliest person in the world and even if we did not have a love connection, we could at least have a great friendship. He had other ideas, of course.

When we met – the first thing that caught my eye was the lack of a front grille. Well, I cannot help my reaction and I said to him that I couldn’t tell from his picture that he had no teeth. He became offended. I explained that I was not intending to bruise his ego, but just inquiring as to the status of his teeth. He immediately noticed my uninterested demeanor and I promptly began my escape. Now, like I said, we could be “telephone friends” but he wanted to “be in love with me” – WTF!!

After that encounter, my whole attitude changed. I said to hell with all this, I’m going for what I want, and I ain’t gonna settle for less. If you don’t have what I want or need, then you are not the one for me. It’s that simple. I don’t have to explain my position. I don’t have to TRY to like you or give you a chance to change my mind, cuz see………it ain’t really the mind that needs changing. My little girl who lives within my panties sorta has control over which man I pick or don’t pick, and there’s no getting around her. If she ain’t happy ain’t no nooky going on. We can still be friends, we can still have intellectual conversation, but we ain’t hanging out and you certainly ain’t getting none. I actually have quite a few “phone-a-friends” whom I cherish dearly and whom I may never, ever meet in life, and that ain’t all bad. They are happy to have that much from me.

I tried to explain to this man that I was not the only one who thought this was odd that he had no teeth and no desire to possess any. I told him that I asked all of my friends and for some reason, they felt the same. This man had the nerve to tell me that not only was I shallow, that my friends were shallow too. That over the past 11 years, he had been with countless women and produced over 25 children with these women (yup, you read that correct, this foo has 25 ++ offspring)……and that none of these women complained about him having no front grille. I said that my friends are educated, classy, sophisticated, independent women and all of them require their men to have teeth, no ifs ands or buts about that mess. He became irate at the thought of me suggesting he was dealing with women of less stature then me or my friends. He was actually tryna defend his toothlessness to me during an hour debate which I had become very contrite with and decided to just hang up the phone. I sat there for a few minutes asking myself if that really just happened.

Did I just have an hour-long debate with a man about his teeth, or lack thereof??

*smh*