Finding my birth mother after almost four decades of separation was one of my most emotional experiences. Not only was I finally able to understand some of the reasons for my turbulent childhood, I also found answers to questions about health concerns. I was about 3 or 4 years old and the oldest of their three children when my parents divorced in the early 1960s. My father was in the Army and we were probably living in Alabama or Georgia when he took us from our mother.

After moving to California to be close to members of his family, my father placed me and one brother in foster care. My youngest brother was diagnosed with leukemia and died at the age of 3 years. I don't think my father wanted us, but he took us to punish our mother. He moved to Minnesota and remarried then came back to California and took us to live with him and his new wife. Although my stepmother was kind, my daddy remained mean and spiteful. When I was 16 years old, I began living on my own. After my daddy died in 1982, I kept in contact with my stepmother but I was troubled by many unanswered questions.

I wondered why my mother had not tried to keep us or find us. I was very stressed and suffered from depression. I moved from Minneapolis to Wisconsin and accepted employment as a legal secretary. In 1998, due to medical concerns and the desire to see if I might be able to locate my birth mother, I contacted my local county veterans service office. Since I worked in the county courthouse and knew the veteran’s officer, I felt comfortable talking to him. I told him that my father had been in the Army but all I had was my birth certificate. It listed my mother's name and age, but I didn't know her date of birth. Within two weeks, he had located my father's military records.

I was able to obtain information about my parents marriage and divorce, but because my mother's name was misspelled in the Army records, I was unable to learn more about her. I also discovered that records of our foster placements in California had been destroyed. While my own search was proving to be difficult, I often enjoyed watching family reunion stories on television. A particular favorite was the Montel Williams Show and I obtained a copy of the book, "You, Too, Can Find Anyone," by Joe Culligan, that Williams often referenced. Using the book helped me learn where to look for more information, but I could not find what I needed to locate my mother.

I was so frustrated because I was sending out so many letters and couldn't seem to get any new information. Finally, although the idea depressed me, I just decided to stop looking. However, a good friend of mine who liked surfing the Internet, continued the search by computer. When my sons and I returned from our annual visit to a friend's home during the Thanksgiving holiday in 1999, I found out that my friend had located the name and telephone number of a woman matching my mother’s description in Georgia. I didn't think it possible that she could actually be my mother and joked with my friend for a while about what I would possibly say if I called her.

My friend told me I had nothing to lose by making a phone call. Finally, I decided to take a chance. So I called the number and asked the woman who answered the phone what her maiden name was. When the woman responded, "Is that you, Jackie?" - we both became totally hysterical and overwhelmed and it took several minutes to stop crying and be able to speak again. I found myself on the floor in tears and my friend (who also was crying) had to pick me up from the floor. I couldn't believe that I hadn't even told her my name and she knew right away who I was. The feeling was so unbelievable and overwhelming that I had to stop the conversation and I told her I would call her back after I could compose myself.

{To be continued.....}