I wrote this for a blog over at another site sometime last summer, and thought it such a funny and true story, that I would share it with my friends over here.........

Certainly, you would never imagine your worst blind date turning out to be one of your best. I am not too fond of the blind date scenario, but if arranged by someone you love, and who cares about your happiness......well I have one for the record books.

Recently, within the past 3 years, I became very "single" - children left the nest. I am a single mom therefore, I use the term single loosely. I have tried to become interactive again in the dating world. It has been hit & miss as far as making a connection of any kind, and I have yet to find Mr. Right, if he even exists in my world.

One of my closest friends suggested I meet a friend of hers because she thought we would hit it off. She gave him my phone number and we spoke quite a few times on the phone before making arrangements to meet. We did connect on the intellectual level and the humor was contagious between us. I love laughter and when you get that silly, gut-wrenching type laughter where you have tears rolling down your face and your jaws hurt, you include that in your rating of your possible mate.

We arranged for him to drive up to my home. I live in a rural country setting and he lives in a huge city about 300 miles from my home. Now, if he is willing to drive all that way to the country to meet me........more points on the ratings meter. I provided what I thought were the simplest most perfect directions and he did the whole Mapquest thing, so all I have to do is await his arrival.

He calls routinely throughout the trip to ensure he is on the right path. The final call comes and he is only 1/2 hour away....... anticipation grows. An hour has passed, I hear nothing. I am anxious, I am nervous and I am frightened something has happened. It is very early in the morning and being way up here in the country if you are in trouble NOTHING is open at that hour on a Saturday morning. I get in my car and head in his direction - has he gone in the ditch, has he run out of gas, does he have a flat tire? Thank God, it is summertime and there is no snow on the ground. I travel about 1/2 hour in his direction, which almost takes me to the exact point of his exit from the highway and I see nothing to suggest mishap. I travel back home and wait. I call my girlfriend and she has heard nothing. I call his cell many times and what the heck am I thinking, there is absolutely NO reception after a certain point from the highway to my home. I fall asleep. The phone wakes me, now three hours later and I hear his voice. WHEW!! I start to cry and I ask him what happened and where is he. He asks me to come get him in a town that is about 45 miles FARTHER WEST of my home and I think he said he was at the Shell Station on the highway. I think I know exactly where that is, as I am familiar with that particular town.

Now, my mind is racing....WTF?? How the hell did he PASS my town straight through to 4 or 5 towns west of where I live. I am completely dumfounded. I get in my car and race to get him. Once in the small town I stop at the first gas station on the highway and ask where the Shell Station is. The lady tells me there hasn't been a Shell Station in that town for many years. I am like hell naw, now what the fukk to do. I sit in my car and wait awhile and the phone rings again. It is him and I said I am looking for the Shell Station and he retorts...."no baby, I said J.A.I.L." Yes, you read that correct, jail. I said how the hell you end up in jail. This would be the "worst" part.

I had to go inside that jail and get his ass. Now, you should know I work for the law and I may have had contact with some of these people at the Sheriffs Department. I am embarrassed as hell to walk in there and ask for a person I have NEVER met. The deputies were crackin up at the fact that I was at the jail to pick up my blind date. I was PISSED to say the least. I was gonna blast his gotdamn ass and I was really thinking about leaving him there. I called my girlfriend and screamed on her big time and she was pleading with me not to leave him in jail. Needless to say, I agreed to sign him out (without bail, of course). And while filling out the forms, I noted on the sheet......OWI .17 That nicca was drunk as hell, drinking all the while driving up here to see me. The anger has me sick, I have to find a chair quickly because I'm about to faint. I sit in the chair and cry. I quickly regain my composure because I have to cuss this man out and put him on a bus back to wherever the hell he came from.

The jailer walks down the hall with the FINEST muhfukka I have seen in a long ass time. Dayyyuuummm, that M.F. is fine as hell. LOL I can't stop crying and laughing at the same damn time. My mind must be playing tricks on me because I WANT him so bad, but how can that be? I know he is all wrong - I am picking his ass up from JAIL. Now, keep in mind this girl had some needs that had not been met for almost 3 years, and Stella definitely had to get her groove back. I took him back to my home and we ended up having the best weekend ever. And, that package - oh my! What a package he was handling. After I had my fill of him, and of course his package, I took him back to his vehicle to return from whence he came. The rest is, as they say, HISTORY.